Feeling The Sand That Isn’t There

Feeling the Sand That Isn't There
By Hilary Rosen

Signing up for a Mind Body Methods in Counseling weekend course, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Having no experience at all with meditation, awareness, or mindfulness, the first class left me understanding that an open mind and inexperience set me up for the perfect meditating opportunity.

I embarked on my meditation journey with hopes that stress of a busy life would lead me to a state of complete relaxation. Serenity, for me, has always been the beach, and metaphorically speaking, I walked into each class wearing my SPF fifteen sunscreen: hoping desperately for a tan.

The class took place over the course of four weekends. During each seven-hour Saturday and Sunday our professor, Dr. Nardi, led us in meditation and introduced us to different visualization and breathing techniques. Although some of these visualizations were emotionally difficult and draining at times, many of the students shared their feelings after each meditation.

For me, walking down a beach path was easy to visualize, but I didn’t emerge from the pleasant day dream thinking I had sand to wipe off my feet. Discouragement is an emotion early on we were taught to try not to feel, but I found myself questioning how therapeutic feeling the sand that isn’t there can really be.


Recent tragic events in my life have caused me to feel stress like I’ve never felt before. Not only did learning to breathe mindfully help me calm any anxieties, but realizing that I can visit my place of serenity anytime I want has helped me find some peace amongst all the constant chaos. Closing my eyes and picturing that beach path has, in some ways, saved my sanity. No longer does finding peace mean having to wait for Memorial Day Weekend to take the two hour drive to the Jersey shore, it can be right where I left it the last time: in between each inhale and exhale when I close my eyes. And I can go there anytime I want.

So maybe I didn’t feel the sand. Maybe I didn’t get a sunburn. Not feeling the sand didn’t mean I wasn’t successful. I felt the warmth of the comfort of relaxation. I felt the burden of reality lift from my shoulders for a few short moments. Learning to breathe in the serenity of the salty-sea-air that isn’t there is exactly what I did.

 Hilary Rosen is a graduate student in the School Counseling Program at LIU Hudson’s Rockland Graduate Campus in Orangeburg, NY. She is about half way through her program.

LIU Hudson’s Rockland Graduate Campus is one of the first graduate programs in counseling offering a course in Mind-Body Methods in Counseling.