OMG PD: Pop Tarts, a Trunk Full of Coke and Missing Oil Drums

There is nothing funny about crime. It hurts people and damages property. Crime can kill.

But sometimes, like when a Rye police officer finds a bag of marijuana on his morning Dunkin' run — "Dude, where's the pot? You dropped the pot?" — you can't help but chuckle.

In this first installment of OMG PD, we'll take a look at crime around the Hudson Valley — but share only if it makes us spit out our Coffee People's Jet Fuel, which incidentally, is the best coffee money can buy.

The routine fender benders and GPS thefts (Seriously people, lock your car or take the GPS inside with you, I'm sure police have other things to do than investigate that week's 15th Garmin nab) will be duly recorded on your local Patch site. 

This week is all about Pop Tarts, the insanity of breaking traffic laws with a large amount of coke in your trunk and using the old 'dine and ditch' routine on the local supermarket.

• It's one thing to arrest someone for possession of a hypodermic needle, but it seems the preface for this police call in Mamaroneck was pilfered Pop Tarts. Hey, steal my drugs, but not the tarts. Never. The. Tarts. It's probably as good a time as any to discuss Pop Tart lore, the best of which is that the U.S. dropped 2.4 million into Afghanistan in 2001, they are only available in Australia via import and worldwide sales of Pop Tarts ($481 million) is exactly equal to Ghana's foreign reserves.
•  OK, so maybe it's just me, but if I had a pound of Bolivian Marching Powder in my trunk — I'm reading Jay McInerney's "How it Ended" right now, so I'm all about the 80s references — I'd make it a point to obey basic vehicle and traffic laws. 
• But, as we all know, when drugs enter the picture, common sense leaves. At least the folks busted in Rockland for supplying pot to what seems to be the entire tri-state area did it with style — nicknames and all. There was "Chiggs," "Frankie," (apparently a much-needed moniker as his given name is Fnu Lnu. I know, I know, it stands for First Name Unknown, Last Name Unknown.) "Quarters" and "McGiva." I'm going to guess this is pronounced more like MacGy-vah, in honor of the real and honorable MacGyver. Perhaps McGiva's role in the organization was to create bongs with little more than a roll of painter's tape and chewing gum. 
• Yorktown is a surprisingly good source for interesting police blotter, despite its bucolic, small-town-but-with-too-much-traffic-on-202 charms. The A & P in Shrub Oak had its own version of "dine and ditch" when someone just walked out with a full shopping cart recently. It's not particularly funny, more sad really. But at least it's a lot less sad than thewomen who used kids to steal vodka and tequila for them. Though I do have a newfound appreciation for kids trying to survive when adults fail them after watching the wonderfully excellent movie "Winter's Bone." If there is justice, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association forget their bizarre attachment to Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Lawrence wins a Golden Globe on Sunday.
• Yorktown redeems itself, however, with news of a man who thought someone stole his 55-gallon drums. I hate — repeat — hate when that happens. He found them by the time cops got there. A happy ending for all. 

Come back next Saturday for another installment of OMG PD. It will post here around noon.